“You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)
A wise woman taught me a mantra for my life. She said, “God gave you two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you speak.” The mantra is easily spoken and difficult to live. In a culture where we tend to communicate in a matter of fact, cynical, and snarky way, we have stopped listening to one another. We tend to speak past one another, never working to find understanding, direction, or commonality. We just say our bit and move on.
Early in my ministry, I remember far too many times where I spoke much more than I listened, creating conflicts, damaged feelings, and hindered ministry. I came into the conversation or the meeting with a clear plan for what I wanted to discuss and say. I did not give ample space for listening, breeding conversation.
As I have grown in my intentionality to listen, it has become a major part of the vision for Living the Adventure Ministries. When I look at Jesus’ ministry, I see often how he would use questions to engage a person in ministry. He would listen to the people around him and engage in conversation. He had a knack for leading people to the right answer at times, and even when it did not seem they got the right answer, he had an ability to keep the conversation moving toward the right answer.
In Haiti several years ago, I made the decision that we would listen to the people in the village about their perceptions of their needs. I had become tired of working on projects without knowing if the village leaders and residents saw the project we were doing as necessary or not. As we gathered the women one day, the men another day, and finally the youth, we would ask similar questions. What is the greatest challenge for you in your life and in your village? What do you believe is the greatest need in your village? If we were partnering together on a project, what is the next project we should do? These questions, when first presented, did not garner a lot of conversation. Yet, as we asked the questions again, encouraging them that there was no right or wrong answer, but that we wanted to listen, someone would speak up. This would often give other people courage to share.
Over time as we listened, we discovered several needs we were able to meet (i.e. a sewing center, solar panels, goats to breed and share, and medical clinics). There were other needs we were unable to meet because of the gang takeover of Haiti and our inability to return. One church leader shared, “You are different from many of the other mission groups who come to our village. They tell us what we need, but you ask us what we need.” This was confirmation in my heart to continue forward with this way of doing mission ministry and we have used similar questions in Guyana, Puerto Rico, Malawi, and Uruguay.
We are not only committed to listening to people, but we are also committed to listening to God. The number of mission and ministry opportunities in front of us coming from invitations could keep me on the road for months at a time. In a recent conversation with church leaders from around the world in Sweden, God gave me three simple questions to guide our listening to God about what opportunities we should pursue.
The three questions are:
Question two and three only become important if the answer to Question one is, “Yes.” Otherwise, we move on in prayer to listen to the Lord about another location or we listen to the Lord about how God might be telling us to pause for rest.
Listening is vital to the Living the Adventure Ministries, because we want to be in God’s Will for our ministry and we want to be in deep relationship with the people with whom we are in ministry. If we do not listen, we are tempted to run ahead of God and to be more focused on our plan and not the needs of the people.
How does God invite you “to be quick to listen and slow to speak” in your daily life? Are these questions about needs or about God’s Will able to be applied to your daily life?
When we listen, we tend to build better community, better relationship with God and others, and we become better members of the Kingdom of God. Take time this week to listen and consider how God might be speaking into your life.
Prayer: Lord, I tend to speak quickly and listen slowly. Forgive me. Give me wisdom and strength to slow down my speech, to listen, and to ask questions for better understanding. Thank you that you speak to us. Help us to listen. In Jesus’ name. Amen.