In Genesis 3, we read of The Fall, as Adam and Eve disobey God. After eating the fruit, they realize they are naked and they cover themselves. Whereas they were once “naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25); now they are naked and ashamed. They hide themselves from each other in their shame, and we witness the brokenness in their intimacy.
God created us for relationships where we can know and be fully known, but we struggle in our shame which keeps us from experiencing the depth of intimacy our hearts yearn to feel. We search for this intimacy and at times our search leads us to emptiness because we seek the depth in the most convenient relationships, not the best spiritually aligned.
In Psalm 139:1, we read, “O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.” This verse could cause anxiety because of our view of God. Adam and Eve hid from God after their sin because they were afraid. We too allow fear to keep us from intimacy with God, and we don’t want God to know everything about us—even though we know God knows. We place barriers around our lives, which keep God at a distance and other people at a distance. E. Stanley Jones in writing about the Christian Ashram Open Heart states, “If the group is to be the Kingdom, then we must get down barriers, for the Kingdom is God’s redemptive invasion of us” (222). He later writes, “But the biggest barriers are within us—fears, resentments, self-preoccupation, guilts, impurities, inferiorities, jealousies, and emptiness. These are the things that separate us from one another, from ourselves, and from God” (224).
The Psalmist’s recognition that God examines our hearts and knows everything about us is an reminder for us to realize the futility of our tendency to hide. God knows our hearts and our minds. As the Psalmist continues to write Psalm 139, he speaks to the places where God knows everything about us. He knows when we sit and when we rise. He knows our going out and our coming in. He is familiar with all our ways. He knit us together in our mother’s womb. God has known us from the beginning and God continues to know us today and in the future.
Our problem is our tendency to want the relationship without being transparent—spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and relationally naked and unashamed. Have we sinned? Yes, but God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9). Are we afraid of God’s response and other’s response if we were truly transparent with them? Yes, but we witness throughout the New Testament where reconciliation and reentry into the community are experienced and encouraged.
The Psalmist, after going through this litany of places where God knows, brings this psalm to a close with this request: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (139:23-24). The Psalmist’s prayer at the end is an invitation to remove the barriers and allow God to speak into his life.
How is your intimacy in relationship with God? Are you trying to hide anything from God? If yes, be reminded that God knows everything about you. Also remember that even though God knows everything, God still loves you. How is your intimacy in relationship with other people? Seek the Lord today to show you people who are also seeking a deeper relationship with brothers and sisters in Christ. Ask God to give you the courage to seek those relationships that will feed your life and help you to grow.
Prayer: We pray with the Psalmist today that you would search us and show us where we need to remove barriers so we can grow in our relationship with you, with others, and with ourselves. We want to be the best version of the person you want us to be. Help us to lay aside our shame and fear so we can enter deeper, more intimate relationships. In Jesus’ name. Amen.